


we weren't lovers like that

by circlegame



Category: The Queen's Gambit (TV)
Genre: F/M, Jealous!Sex, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:00:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27682585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/circlegame/pseuds/circlegame
Summary: It's been months since Russia. Since she beat Borgov. It's on her press tour through Washington that Benny Watts pays her a visit. It's been so long, and all too soon, his mouth is on hers. He tells her things she's only dreamed about. Three little words come out in more than three.
Relationships: Beth Harmon & Benny Watts, Beth Harmon/Benny Watts
Comments: 25
Kudos: 430





	we weren't lovers like that

There are few times that Beth Harmon finds herself out of complete control when it comes to romance. There’s the time she sees Benny Watts, he asks her age. There’s the time he beats her terribly in Vegas. There’s the time she beats him in Ohio. The time she steals herself a glance far too long to just be watching. He asks her to come to New York, she trains. She watches him, and then she leaves him. It’s not until months later, months were she’s been reinventing herself, trying to stop that old self from bubbling back through the cracks. 

She’s happy now. So, so happy. She sees Jolene and gives her more than she had lent. She sees her mother’s grave. She sells her house in Lexington; it’s pink papered walls glimmering angrily at her. She packs up and moves herself to New York, a perfect place to do all the interviews that she’s been asked to do again and again. 

Harry calls her and spends time with her, moments that are good. An old friend, a familiar face. She can’t remember the last time he said he was proud of her before she’d reinvented herself. She orders Coke with her meal and sees him off as he flies back to Kentucky. Her roots are so settled there, sometimes she thinks she’ll just fly off back, letting herself settle into the ground. 

So she goes to Washington, and beats the President at chess in ten moves and he laughs. They take pictures for every paper imaginable and he says what an achievement. How great. To be so young and talented and a woman. As if women were incapable of the both. 

She drags herself back to the hotel that the Federation is paying for, her feet cramping from the long day. Her week in Washington consists of interviews and publications that make her head spin thinking of them all. 

The phone rings in her hotel room, a sound that wakes her up and disgusts her as she sees that the time on her wrist watch next to her bed reads nearly 1:30 in the morning. She pads over slowly, trying to bring herself back to life. The last time she had made a phone call at this sort of hour had been when her mother had died. She suddenly felt sick. 

“Hello?” 

“Miss Harmon,” An all too familiar voice says, settling her bones into a chill, waking her up immediately. Thankfully tomorrow she didn’t have a press meeting until around three in the afternoon. “You’re a hard girl to find.”

“Benny,” She replies, feeling foolish for being so invested so soon. He has one motive for the call and she knows it: chess. “Hello to you too.” 

“I tried you in Lexington. Woke up an unhappy young mother.” 

“When did you do that?” She hadn’t lived in Lexington for months. 

“Couple of months ago. I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for awhile now.” She heard him shifting, “Harry said you were in New York, but you weren’t picking up. So I knew you were playing with the President, and tried Washington next.” 

“You’re a regular Nancy Drew Watts.” 

“I didn’t know where you were, but the Federation let me in on what hotel you’re staying in. I’m downstairs. Do you want to see me?” 

“What?” 

“I’ve been thinking about you for a long time, Harmon. You’re always on my mind.” 

“I have press tomorrow.” 

“I know.” He was silent a moment, “I just wondered if… I said some things, all that time ago. And I never said…” 

“You were right.” 

“I-” 

“About the getting drunk thing. That’s over now.” 

“I’m so sorry, Beth. I didn’t know what-”

“I’m in suite 406. Come up.” She hangs up the phone before he can answer, hoping to steal herself a moment of collection. She looks at herself quizzically in the mirror, the way her nightgown hugs her body, the hair covering her arms pricking up from excitement and nerves. She splashes cold water on her face, hoping it will wake her up from this fevered dream. 

The knock at the door startles her, and she hopes that she looks presentable enough to see him. Her red hair is a bit longer now, a bit mussed from bed. She opens the door to find him in his usual outfit, the hat gone and nowhere to be seen. 

“Well gosh Beth Harmon,” He smiles, and she feels her insides melt as she lets him in. “I’ve missed you.” He pulls her into a hug, and she wraps herself around him gladly. 

“Missed you too,” She murmurs in response, the expanse of his body against hers lighting her afire. 

She remembers the last time she’d missed someone, nearly missing the biggest competition of her life at that moment. She doesn’t want to miss something again. But he pulls apart, and his hand lifts to her face.  
“I like your hair,” He whispers, and she remembers that night in the bar. How she had wanted him to take her home and fuck her. She remembers when he’d asked her the question again, and she’d fucked him so long and hard in his bed that she’d gotten angry when he’d talked about chess the first time. They’d fucked other times after that, and each time was more mind blowing than the next. But they were different people then. Too volatile for each other. 

She feels a shiver run up her spine, and she kisses him. Hard. His mouth smashes against hers violently and she takes every opportunity to pull him closer and closer to her. She’d always liked to be in charge. And for his credit, Benny has always let her. She runs her hands through his hair and he through hers and they’re moaning wildly in the living room of her hotel, pawing at each other like it’s their first time. They fall onto the couch and she feels how deeply they want each other at the moment. It’s hot and makes her head spin. 

“Are you marrying him?” He asks, pulling at her hair hard, causing a whimper from the depths of her. 

“Who?” She groans as he goes in for her neck, guided by her delicate hands. 

“Harry,” He says, something deep coming to the surface. 

She pulls him away from her neck breathlessly, looking at him with a confused glance. 

“What?” 

“Last time he was in New York. He said you saw each other. That he lived with you in Lexington for awhile. That you’d fucked.” 

“He’s just Harry.” 

“Did you fuck him?” 

“I have.”

“He said he wanted to marry you.” 

“He’s confused,” Beth shifted to sitting up, the moment they had shared drifting farther and farther away. 

“You fucked him in New York?” 

“He was lonesome. I spent time with him.” 

“Do you love him?” 

“I don’t love most people I’ve fucked.”

“Most?” His breath hitches, and he pales when she catches onto it. 

“I don’t fuck during work.”

“Have you?” 

“The last time I fucked someone during a competition was Cleo. I was late to Borgrov because of it.” 

“Cleo?” 

“I’m not marrying Harry. I don’t live in Kentucky anymore. He’ll always be a friend. But he’s bad in bed.” 

“They all were, before me.” 

“How would you-” 

“You told me so. Our first time. Then our second, third, and fourth time. Every time, actually.” 

“Yes,” She shifts, confused. 

“I had to come here.” He says, shifting back to her neck, breathless. “I had to make sure you didn’t marry him. That you hadn’t fucked him. That you hadn’t fucked anyone.” 

“I’ve fucked lots of people.” 

“But lots of people aren’t me, Harmon.” His breath on her neck evokes a moan, and he’s slipping his hands under her gown. 

She can feel how hard he is through her gown, his jeans doing nothing for him. She feels a twist deep in her gut. Her desire contagious. 

“Are you jealous?” She asks, flipping them so she’s straddling him, having him how she likes him. He pulls on his hair harshly as she asks it, his defences falling. “Of all the people I fucked before you? Of all the people i fucked after?” 

She wiggles around on his lap, looping her hands on his belt buckle and working slowly on it. 

“Are you trying to fucking kill me?” He asks as she starts to slide his jeans off slowly. 

“Are you jealous?” She asks again, cupping his erection as she looks into his brown eyes, black in the dark with lust. 

“Fuck,” 

“Tell me,” She says, pulling her hands away. 

“Fuck!” He complains from the lack of friction, her hands resting on his naked thighs. His boxers lie next to her on the floor. “Yes, Beth. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I’m always fucking jealous. Happy?” 

“Almost,” She says, and swallows his length so easily he lets out a semblance of a scream. 

“Mmhm,” He mutters, his hands in her hair. She likes to have it pulled. “So fucking good, Harmon.” 

She blows him long and hard, her tongue working magic as she takes his length easily, he’s all but sputtering when she pulls off suddenly, a loud pop filling the air. Her lips are swollen and she’s red in the face, her mouth covered in spit and his precum. He’s seeing stars when she pulls off, and he can’t form a sentence other than expletives. 

“Tell me,” She mumbles, but he can faintly hear that she isn’t. She takes her hand and slowly begins to jerk him off. She’s never done this before, and he can barely form a coherent thought. “Tell me how jealous you are.” 

“Hhm?” He asks, so strung out and desperate that he feels like he’ll die. 

“Tell me how fucking jealous you were. Of all of them,” She slides back onto him with her mouth, and she feels him tense under her. She’s got him right where she wants him. 

“When I saw Harry for dinner, he told me everything.” He manages between the other yelps and panting that he’s doing. “He told me that you’d fucked. It made me want to unfix his teeth.” 

She pulls off again, stroking him as she does. “Do you want to cum?” 

“Fuck,” He groans, and she smiles wickedly. “Yes.” 

“He never fucked me like you.” She says, closing in on him again. It takes only a few more times before he’s cumming so hard he nearly screams, tears and stars filling his eyes. “You fuck me so good, Benny.” She says as she’s stroking him through it, his cum still sticking to her lips, covering her mouth after she’d swallowed it. “He never even made me cum.” 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Benny says, still unable to form sentences.  
“But he lived with me so long, I convinced myself that I loved him.” 

“S-stop,” He says, his breathing finally getting back to normal. 

“We spent so long together, I thought love meant that sex was bad. I told myself so.” 

Benny ripped his shirt off, and pulled Beth onto the couch next to him, her drawn out story about Harry making his blood boil. 

“Love and sex aren’t synonymous.” 

“I thought he was the only person I’d ever loved. He was just like the stoner from my Russian class. Bad in bed but convincing enough that I’d told myself I loved them.” 

“From your Russian class?” He breathes into her ear, making her shiver against her will. 

“It was one time. He fucked me while we were high. Him more than me. I stayed in his apartment awhile and nearly drank myself to death.” 

“I fucked Cleo too. So drunk I don’t even remember it. Fucked my guard after we got back to the States. Fucked Harry again to make sure I didn’t still love him.” 

“I’m going to eat you out,” Benny growls, ripping her nightgown off and pulling her underwear off so quickly she wonders if he’s been practicing. 

He immediately attacks her clit, his facial hair tickling her and turning her on even more. She’s remarkably wet for this early in the night, but she can’t help it. She never can with Benny. She wants him to fuck her, but she wants to tease him a bit more first. She’s never seen him so angry, so determined. His tongue is hitting exactly where it should, and she’s moaning as she speaks to him, pulling on his hair and getting moans out of him as well. 

“Don’t you think they’re the same?” She says a bit more breathless than she’d like. “Love and attention? They paid attention, and I told myself I loved them.” 

He pulls off of her, his thumb working her clit while he pumps a finger into her, a moan escaping her. She can see how badly he wants to fuck her. 

“Why did you do that?” He asks, “Fuck all of those people. Why?” 

“I wanted to make sure you weren’t the only one who can fuck me like this.” 

“I know I am.” 

“So cocky,”  
“Say that I am.” 

“What do you want me to say?” She asks, and although it’s not nearly as strong as she’d like, she’s got him right where she wants him. 

“Say I’m the only one who can fuck you like this.” He inserts another finger into her, and she wonders why they didn’t have makeup, angry sex sooner. 

“You’re the only one who can fuck me like this.” She says, and immediately he goes back down to her, as if being away too long was excruciating to him. 

He eats her out hard, and she nearly cums as he puts another finger in her. “That’s right baby,” He moans against her, and she notices that he’s stroking himself. “Gonna make you cum so, so hard.” And then his mouth’s on her again and both of his hands are back on her, gripping her thighs as he fucks her with his tongue. 

“So fucking good Benny,” She mutters, knowing that she’s close from the feeling building up in her stomach and the way she’s losing all of her defenses as he laps at her. “I’m so close,” 

“Cum for me, baby.” He says, and she wonders if it’s the nickname that gets her, because he’s never used it before, but suddenly she’s crying out his name and cumming so long and violently that she can’t remember her own name. 

He eats her out as she calms down from it, easing her down from her high that lasted what felt like a lifetime. “You’re so fucking beautiful when you cum.” 

“You’re one to talk,” She mutters, still a bit sputtery from the feeling. “I want to see you do it again.” 

“Bedroom,” He says, and it’s not a question. She lets him drag her there, kissing her neck as he does so. By the time they reach it, she’s in charge again, pushing him into the bed and running hands through his hair, nipping at his ear. 

“I’m going to fuck you.” She growls, and she can see that he doesn’t care. He’ll do whatever she wants. He’s lost completely to her. 

“Okay,” He says, fumbling as he slides the condom on. 

She presses him against her and she sinks down onto him, and the sound escaping him draws his name from her mouth. 

The next moments are tense, and neither of them last as long as they’d like. His thumb is rolling around her clit as they both cum together, so harshly and tense that they’re shaking and crying out loudly. Her name escapes his mouth like a long held prayer, like he’s been holding it in for far too long. 

She pulls herself off afterwords, and they’re breathing hard together, their breathes synched. She thinks something dangerous, and pushes it back down. 

Once they’ve calmed down, he pulls the condom off and pads away, grabbing a wet towel from the bathroom and cleaning them up. She excuses herself to the bathroom and gathers herself as she pees and washes her hands in extremely cold water. She’s still naked, and wonders if she should be. They’ve never spent time together after sex. She’ll go back to her air mattress and he to his bed. 

She comes back to the bed and he’s still there. She pulls her underwear on, and he follows suite with his boxers. 

“How long are you in town for?” She asks, and he turns towards her. His eyes are on his clothes on the floor, and she can tell he thinks she’s going to ask him to leave. 

“However long you’re here. If you’ll see me again, that is.” 

“Stay here,” She whispers, stretching out her hand to grasp his. “For tonight. Just stay here, Benny.” 

“I’m sorry about all that stuff I said. I-I had no right.” 

“I’m sorry too. I was egging you on.” 

“But I was honest,” He counters. 

“I can’t stand to think about you with anyone but me.” 

“It’ll pass,” She finds herself saying, crawling into bed with her back to him as he sinks down. 

“It won’t.” He argues, and she finds herself tensing. They’ve never really talked like this before. “I missed you.” He’s bringing up the past now. That Beth is dead and gone. 

“You told me.” 

“I missed you even when I said I didn’t want to talk to you anymore. I missed you even more after that.” 

She thinks it over. How her heart has always leapt to him. “I missed you too. Through it all.” 

“I wish I’d gone to Russia with you.” 

“That’s all over now. Has been for months.” 

“Harry said you’re writing a book, yes?”

“I am. Hoping it will sell more copies than yours.” 

“Evil,” 

She chuckles, and he slides his hand up and down her arm. She snuggles in next to him and he wraps himself around her for the first time. 

“I’ve got a big day tomorrow. I should get some sleep.” 

“Alright,” He says, and she can tell he’s as tired as she is. “I’m tired too.” 

They settle in, and just as she’s drifting off she hears him speak again. 

“You mean more than anything to me, Harmon.” 

“Chess is always number one. To both of us.” She finds herself murmuring her response, and she knows he can tell she’s exhausted. 

“It was. But I’ve already been a champion. You’re my number one now. You have been since New York.” 

“Long time,” 

“I’ll wait forever if I have to.” 

She shifts so she’s facing him then, and she places a soft hand on his face. Her touch is delicate, as if he’s going to melt away and all of this has just been a horrible dream to her. “Baby,” She begins, and the look he gives her makes her tear up. “I’m here now. Waiting forever is impossible anyways.” 

“I like your hair,” He whispers, pushing some of hers out of her eyes, off her cheeks. 

She turns her back to him again, pulling his arm so that it’s around her. She drifts off after he mutters three words she’s barely been able to tell herself.

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!!! first ever time writing for this fandom. hope it went well! am very obsessed with them and thinking of how they didn't have as much screen time :(


End file.
